Bunnies in Autumn

At the church parking lot, I watched a dear one leave in comfort and safety, remembering my question as to why was he there. The sun began to rise as soon as he turned the corner, which was at 2 in the morning. The sun rose steadily until I realized it was no ordinary sun to give so many the 'benefit of the doubt' as it lit up the night sky. It was bright, but not hot like I feared it would've been. I walked home through the neighborhood at this time, realizing the light, the sun was Jesus. I don't know where I got that from, I just knew with no doubt in my mind as it was hard to see clearly. Faith, I guess. The sun went fast in the sky, racing towards the moon in the direction of my home. A man drove down the road and asked me where my mother was. I told him "Jesus is coming!"

The man in the white truck smirked, laughed, and smiled, then continued in the direction of my home which was just straight ahead and a little towards the left at the same time the eclipse finally aligned where there was a blood moon.

I did not want to waste my time playing games with this world's fake promises.

Bunnies hopped out of the ground during the fall. Normally, I would have stopped to admire it but I knew everything in this world was fake. Nothing lasts for a lifetime.

I furiously said out loud to the white, red-eyed bunnies, "You are fake!" The bunnies had turned into puppets or clothed probably filled with straw like a scarecrow would be created where they were no longer alive. I didn't know what to do exactly if they were in my path if I was meant to acknowledge them or ignore them. Sometimes, I just never know. And so I called out my heavenly father's name, "Jehovah," and they disappeared, into dust... And, I felt something. Something scary where I had felt to understand the ache inside my heart as it began to settle down. I have accepted all the tragedies and sorrow I am happy for because all great things come with a price that'll hurt a little but for good purpose... I had forgotten to tell the man, that "Jesus is already here!" I sped up my pace to get back home through the sappy trees with my favorite monochrome hoodie on.

As soon as I got home, everyone was awake looking at the blood moon through the large walk-through window. I wondered when the sun would turn dark.

I also wonder if I had done the right thing by agreeing to let someone go mainly because as it is written. If someone wants to leave, let them leave. At the same time, have faith by being true to your word. I wonder what I was really supposed to do.

The more promises I break, I feel that God will really let me go. So I will stay true to my word. At the same time, I feel great regret for the promises I made in the past that my heart will always ache. I often feel restrained and suffocated that it's so much that I might actually vomit for some relief.

However, things that are hard to get will come with rarity. It's a gift like my father had told me that I was one to him too when I was first born. I want that gift, but I cannot be selfish.

(Just a dream I had. Sometimes I get scared of what they actually mean and if there is something I'm not acknowledging.)

Galatians 5:13, NLT For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.